5 Languages of Self-Love

We’ve all heard of the 5 Languages of Love right? Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch. These languages introduce the idea that emotional needs of individuals in relationships & how they give & receive love, varies. 

What I want to explain here, during a month where love & relationships is extremely highlighted, is that it’s just as important (if not more important) to learn & practice each of these love languages on ourselves. How can we adequately express & receive love if we’re not able to truly love ourselves the way we need? Fostering a loving, accepting & kind relationship with yourself is incredibly healing & unbelievably powerful because it helps us love & understand ourselves while being able to connect with others more authentically. So, during this loving holiday season, let’s look inwards & identify what your self-love language is that allows for authentic loving & validating of the self. I’ll be breaking down each original love language & presenting them as one of self-love to practice on ourselves. 

Show up for yourself with acts that serve you first: (Acts of Service)

• Do things for your own comfort - light a lovely candle, make a healing bath, make your space beautiful 

• Ask for help running errands or delegate a nagging chore to your  partner or roommate

Spend quality time with yourself by setting time boundaries to  restore  value to your own quality time: (Quality Time) 

• Recognize when you’re exhausted or burnt out & honor your need for rest & regrounding without shame or guilt about it

• Block off “unplugged” hours from work to honor time boundaries 

• Say no when you feel too overcommitted - if you can’t keep a commitment without sacrificing your mental health, energy & spending quality time with yourself, SAY NO 

Affirm yourself with positive, validating, encouraging & loving words like you would a loved one: (Words of Affirmation):

• Affirm your self-worth through positive self-talk: 

• “I’m doing an amazing job”

• “I’m a smart & knowledgeable person” 

• “I appreciate how hard I work” 

• “I thank myself for always being there for me” 

• “I’m very creative” 

• “I’m really proud of myself” 

• Thanks to our friend science, studies have found that self-affirmations can manipulate neural activity in the brain’s ventromedial prefrontal cortex (VMPFC) (Falk et al., 2015). The VMPFC, according to Roy, Shomany, and Wager (2012), is a centralizing hub for social, sensory, emotional, and self-related information processing.

• The stimulation of the VMPFC through positive self-affirmations and reflecting on our core values, allows us to see what may seem like threatening information, such as various forms of exercise or healthy eating,  as valuable and applicable to self (Falk et al., 2015).

• By using this self love language in conjunction with goal setting from our previous blog post, it is possible to hit our wellness goals without fearing the difficulty of the task. 

Show yourself generosity & that you’re worthy of receiving gifts from yourself that: (Giving / Receiving Gifts)

• Will continually cheer you up - beautiful house plant, something fun for your desk 

• Make your life easier/less stressful - household or kitchen tool

• Bring you comfort - weighted blanket, scented candle, heating pad 

• Nourish you - lovely tea or coffee, your favorite delicious food

• Remind you of your worth - framed quote that’s meaningful to you, a journal 

• Honor your body - an attractive piece of clothing, health subscriptions, skincare products 

Be kind to your own body by refusing to neglect & abuse it when it’s exhausted & needs rest, when choosing the right foods & movement, & paying attention to how you self care: (Physical Touch)

• Work on altering negative self-talk to more accepting & loving narratives 

• Comfort yourself when you’re sad, angry, in pain, etc. 

• Acknowledge your physical needs - if you’re body is burnout, tired, sore from working out 7 days a week, DONT 

• Let’s not forget that more exercise does not correlate with better results, and in some cases may lead to injury. Implementing adequate rest days allows your body to adjust to the new physical demand and grow muscle! 

• Find a sustainable & balanced way to eat that satisfies your your needs, health & taste buds 

• Honor your body with movement that makes it feels your strongest (walking > running) 

• Embrace your body with positive words about your strengths rather than your weaknesses 

Love yourself & take care of your heart as the person who knows you best…